Love. Feeling, emotion or choice?

by | Barry's Blog, Writing

As I do quite often I am pondering this question on love. I usually do this in poetry form, but I have been working through some thoughts I have had so I thought why not work through them as I write out a post. So here they are…

Thoughts on Love by B.McCormickA definition of love is “A strong feeling or affection.” Is that all love is? A feeling? A feeling of maybe being attracted to someone? You see there are couple of thoughts looking at both the bible and life which draw me to conclude love is more than emotion, in fact it is an insult to what real love really is.

I’ll start off with a couple of life examples. I’ll start through observations of my mum and dad as I grew up. My mum and dad were married for approaching 25 years before my mum passed away. My dads favorite story of the wedding was my mum not being able to repeat the first line of the wedding vows. My mum would keep on saying “I Susan … take thee to be be my awfully wedded husband” So there is one way to start a marriage! Now my parents had their arguments, had some fights. A few instances my dad was kicked out, my mum was quite fierce in my dads defense, but what I have learned about love from their example is that it is fundamentally deeper than a feeling. It is an act of the will.

You see if love was simply a feeling my mum and dad would have only have had the one argument and they would have gone their separate ways. As you could probably imagine any kind of feeling that love is supposed to be would be greatly diminished after a fight or an argument. But no. They still loved each other. How do I know they love each other? They made their relationship work. They fixed it if it was broken. Sometimes it might have took a little bit longer but they made that conscious act of love and stayed married and together despite it all.

You see it wasn’t a feeling that done this. Feelings can’t keep anything together, they cant fix anything or mend relationships, conscious acts of the will do.

Lets take another example. A parents love for their child. Now if you are a parent or are part of a large family and there is that one person who keeps on testing your parents limits of love you may understand this. It does not matter what the child does the parent is going to defend, support, help, up lift and aid that child no matter what. The child may keep on doing the same thing, keep hurting them and others in the family but the parent is going to be there for their child. Even in extreme cases where the child has ended up leaving home and not talking to the parents, the parents will still confess that they love their child. Why? Because love is not feeling. Love may bring a feeling at times but it is not a feeling. It is so much deeper.

Now let us look at the Bible. The Bible answers this question very clearly I believe if you just think about it for a minute. You know that God commands “LOVE the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul and all your mind” and love your nieghbour is another. Also in Ephesians 5 we are told that husbands should love their wives and wives should love their husbands. Now here is the question. How can God command us to have a feeling which in essence isn’t within our control? Also why did he command it if we cant choose the opposite? You see with every command comes a choice. Here the choices is to love …. or not to love …

And this is Love that God chose to send His Son, that the Son chose to come and give His life as a ransom for us. In this we have the prime example of Love. It wasn’t a wishy washy notion God had one day. He resolved to show His love and made a conscious act of the will to do so. That is love. Love which is made known and manifest. Love says “I choose to make you my priority, your joy is my goal”

So if love is a choice why is it so hard? Some people are simply hard to love. Maybe it is their character they may be too loud or too quiet. But think about all those you say you love. Think about all their idiosyncrasies and quirks. I bet they have some part of their character which is annoying, yet because of love you have chosen to not let that bother you. You see if we make the choice to love more often, to more people, things which annoy us will be less of an issue and it will, in fact, become easier to love.

Yes there will be people who you naturally love easier, maybe some family members or friends. Maybe some of them are hard to choose to love! But if you really evaluate it you love them because you choose to. You have chosen to let them be apart of your live and share in your life and you have chosen to invest in theirs. That’s apart of what love is.

Can you take this as Gospel? You will need to come to your own conclusion on that. I think the idea definitely deserves some thought. Did I make sense? I will leave that to your good judgement also. What is contained in this post are just my midnight musings about something which is so deep, so divine, yet so incredibly understood by that intangible part us which some call a soul. And that is the only place this subject can be fully understood.

Test All Things …

I have really been challenged of late as to what I actually believe when it comes to the Bible. So much so I am looking at it and I am compiling my thoughts and really looking into and defining my beliefs. Why? Because I don't want to be like grass which is tossed...
Read More

Getting Fit for Truth

I have recently purchased this new CD by Sara Groves called "Conversations." I was playing at a church in Glasgow and they played a song called "He's always been Faithful" which is a beautiful song of only three verses. Anyway as a result I researched the song when I...
Read More

God wants us all to be rich

You have maybe heard this from TV preachers or those who preach the so called "Prosperity Gospel." I would say I completely and whole-heartedly agree! God wants us to be rich. And not only that I would say if you are not rich you cannot be a Christian! Disagree? Think...
Read More

Covenant and Promise

It's funny how words at times can lose their integrity and meaning or simply fall out of usage with time. As such, sometimes when we read, some words loose the power and potency which they should pack and it is somewhat diminished. Promise is a word that is probably...
Read More

Are we wrong to judge?

If you have already answered that question in your mind before you have read this post you have already made a judgement. Now depending on on what your answer was will depend whether you were right or wrong to pass that judgement according to yourself. How did you...
Read More

Love God, spend time in His word

Over these past few weeks and months I have been really challenged about how I love people. Do I really love people? How can I say that I do? I have also been challenged about this in terms of my relationship with God. Can I honestly say I love God? If it was illegal...
Read More

Just be honest

You know there are things that happen in your life when no matter how hard you try you just cant find it in you to pray to God. I have came across this several times in my life, one time recently. I couldn't pray. I just could not come to God as I normally would and...
Read More

Music. How much more spiritual can you get?

You often hear Christians saying "I don't understand how Scientists can study aspect of God's creation and not see God in it" or "How can scientists say there is no God?" Which, if you are Christian with maybe limited Scientific knowledge is maybe a logical argument...
Read More

A single thought

A single thought reminds me Of the sin that bound me And of the grace that freed me to live a life of love A single word sustains me When this world discourages me It reminds and affirms in me of my Saviour's love A single act done selflessly reminds me of His mercy...
Read More

It’s all about the harvest…

I was certain I heard God speak the other day. He said to me "It's all about the harvest" And immediately for whatever reason that resonated with me. It simply helped me realise on what is important and it refocussed me. The harvest is what is important... as...
Read More

Pin It on Pinterest